Introduction
When I was in high school, my mother once asked me to order a pizza for the family.
I looked up the number, then immediately handed the phone to my brother. I was too shy to speak to a stranger.
Years later, when I started college at the University of Illinois, my shyness followed me. I spent weeks crying in my dorm room, homesick and afraid to join in with other students. I skipped classes, convinced that everyone else was smarter and more confident than I was.
But when I looked around campus and saw students walking with their heads held high, chasing their dreams, I wanted that kind of confidence too. I knew that if I wanted to achieve something meaningful — like a career in sports management — I needed to change.
Thirteen years later, I became the first female General Manager of a Triple-A baseball team in nearly two decades. I now host the Leadership is Female podcast, where I’ve interviewed more than 90 women working in a male-dominated industry. Every one of them told me that the key skill they developed to reach the top was confidence.
The truth is, none of them — and not I — started confident. Confidence wasn’t a gift we were born with; it was something we built through behaviour.
Here are six practical behaviours you can start using today to increase your own confidence.
1. Count Yourself In
Sometimes, all it takes to move from hesitation to action is a simple countdown.
A sports broadcaster once shared that before her first live sideline report, she was terrified. Her hands shook as she waited courtside, but the moment she heard the producer’s voice — “We’re live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” — she performed flawlessly. The countdown helped her start, and momentum kept her going.
I’ve used the same trick countless times, especially during difficult conversations at work. When I once had to confront a baseball team about wearing the wrong uniform, I silently told myself, “Three, two, one, go.” Then I walked forward, faced the situation, and got through it.
Counting yourself in helps you override fear. You stop thinking and start doing — and that’s how confidence grows.
2. Give Yourself 20 Seconds of Courage
Sometimes, you only need to be brave for a brief moment.
When I launched my podcast, I was terrified of what people would think. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I stared at the “Upload” button, debating whether it needed one more edit. Then I said to myself, “Give yourself 20 seconds of courage.”
I clicked Publish.
The world didn’t end. In fact, that small act of courage turned into a successful podcast with thousands of listeners.
You don’t need endless bravery — just 20 seconds to take the first step.
3. Take a Seat at the Table
Confidence isn’t built from waiting — it’s built from showing up.
A female sports agent once told me she noticed women in meetings standing around the edges of the room while men filled the seats. One day, she decided she was done waiting. She walked in, sat down, and started speaking up.
That small decision changed her career.
Whether it’s in a meeting, a classroom, or a community event — take your seat. You deserve to be there. Confidence starts when you stop waiting for permission.
4. Cheer for Other People’s Success
One of the clearest signs of confidence is the ability to celebrate others.
Insecure people see someone else’s win as their loss. Confident people know there’s enough success to go around.
Comedian Amy Poehler put it perfectly: “Good for her, not for me.”
That mindset turns envy into empowerment. It reminds you that someone else’s achievement doesn’t take away from your own path — it just proves what’s possible.
One powerful example: a woman was recently promoted to Chief Marketing Officer of a major sports league after publicly congratulating the new female league president. Her authentic support stood out, and her confidence helped her rise.
So celebrate others loudly — because wins are always better when shared.
5. Use Your Past Success to Build Future Confidence
Confidence doesn’t come from wishing; it comes from remembering.
Think back:
- What are you great at now that used to be hard?
- What accomplishments make you proud?
- Where have you already succeeded?
Your answers are your evidence. They remind you that you’re capable.
A woman I interviewed once prepared for a big promotion by reviewing her job description and noting every area where she had excelled. She brought that list into the meeting — and she got the job.
Confidence grows when you recognise your own track record. You’ve already done hard things. You can do them again.
6. Celebrate Constantly
We often rush past our achievements without acknowledging them. But when we fail to celebrate, our brain forgets what success feels like.
Celebration reinforces confidence. It teaches your brain to connect effort with reward.
So celebrate in a way that feels meaningful to you — create a highlight reel on your phone, take your team out for dinner, buy yourself a treat, or simply pause to say “I did it.”
The form doesn’t matter; the acknowledgement does. Each celebration strengthens the belief that your effort is worth it.
From Shy to Self-Assured
I’ve come a long way from the girl too shy to order a pizza to the woman who runs a baseball team, hosts a podcast, and speaks on stage.
The difference wasn’t luck — it was action.
I changed my behaviour first, and confidence followed.
And so can you.
Because the real question isn’t whether you’re confident right now — it’s how confident you could become if you decided to start acting like it.
So count yourself in. Give yourself 20 seconds of courage. Take your seat. Celebrate others. Build on your wins. And never forget to celebrate yourself.
Because if you were ten times more confident,
how many runs could you score in your own life?
